made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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