it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
