you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
