id be glad to
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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