you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
