Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
