yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
