We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
