I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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