We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
