yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
