Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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