is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You are a genius and a whore.
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