I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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