i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
