found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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