so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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