yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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