you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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