Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
