i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
