community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
