It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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