I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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