but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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