worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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