I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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