Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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