so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
