my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize