so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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