You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
