chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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