Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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