At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
