Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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