using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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