The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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