if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
