We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
