I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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