In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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