I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
