Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
