i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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