hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize