By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
