you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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