How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
