I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize