Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
