that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize