But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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