The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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