I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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