so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
