weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
