I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
