yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
