we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
