sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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