Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
