it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
