I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
