Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
