I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
