just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
