Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
