Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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