I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize