so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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