i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
