He had one of those small greek statue penises
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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