Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize