real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
